Curse of the Insurance Company

This is a first. I mean, I realize I'm cursed, but this took on a whole new dimension.

I received a letter in the mail from my insurance company. They had been trying to contact me at XXX-XXX-XXXX phone number regarding a program they have (they send newsletters and offer phone support for people diagnosed with various conditions.) The letter made no mention of what condition they were seeking to support me in having. And incidentally, the phone number they had was wrong, which explains why they couldn't reach me. Having no interest in this program, I didn't seek to correct them.

A couple weeks later I received a phone call from them. Apparently they found my phone number all by themselves. The woman informed me that a person diagnosed with my condition could benefit from their support program. I asked, "What condition?" She replied, "Lower back pain."

"Uh, I don't have lower back pain," I replied.

"You don't?" she said.

"No. And since I received a notice saying you've been trying to reach me at the wrong phone number, I suspect you have me mixed up with someone else entirely. Please remove me from your list."

She did. Or so she claimed. A week later I got another phone call from the same program. I told that rep I do not suffer from lower back pain, and asked not to be contacted again. Naturally, a third person called me a few days later; I repeated my spiel, and she confirmed I would no longer be contacted.

Yesterday I was in the shower with my toddler. The baby was in her bouncy seat in the bathroom. She started to fuss, so I leaned over to replace her binky.

My back went into a spasm, and 24 hours later I am still in horrid pain, unable to bend over without a muscle spasm.

NOW I suffer from Lower Back Pain.

I'm cursed.