Free Valet Parking

You know that saying "Be careful what you wish for; you might get it"? And you know that saying, "You get what you pay for"? Right. Well, I was just thinking that it had been awhile since I had any really good blog material. And then I used the free valet parking outside the hospital while I ran inside to pick up copies of some X-rays.

I plunked the kids in the double stroller, ran my errand in the hospital, and came back out-- ten minutes, tops. The valet returned with my car, left it idling in Park, and tried to hit the door-unlock button for me. Except, he locked the doors instead, and then, naturally, closed the driver's door.

Yup. All four doors locked; key in ignition; engine running.

To his credit, he was really apologetic. And I knew he'd been trying to help, so I told him not to worry about it. So long as he didn't lock my kids in the car, I wasn't terribly upset.

Of course, that was before a total of four valets and two security guards spent 45 minutes trying to jimmy my car door while I sat on a bench with the kids (one of whom was a very hungry toddler.) I was getting rather nervous, recalling that my mom once had her car's power locks damaged by a dunce with a Slim Jim. I voiced my concerns, so one of the valets changed to a coat hanger. Oh, what a vast improvement :p

Here's some rare pictorial insight into my life, which I've come to believe is decidedly unique in the number of bizarre and inconvenient things that occur. Please excuse the quality, as it was taken with my Sidekick from afar:


Note how it's blocking the entire drop-off area in front of the hospital. I witnessed several newly-discharged, wheelchair-bound patients and two very pregnant women having to take detours.

After awhile, feeling that perhaps the troupe did not really know what the hell they were doing, I dialed 411 for the number of a local Ford dealer. They connected me to a Ford truck dealership; the receptionist said she couldn't help me, and gave me another number to call. It was supposed to be some hotline to get a duplicate key; instead it connected me with a random computer company. I tried 411 again (specifying CAR dealership!) I got through, waited on hold for quite awhile, and finally got a warm body. He informed me that if I had the key's code (which I did) I could walk into a Ford dealership and get a new key.

With no car and two small children I sure wasn't going anywhere, but I thought perhaps one of the valets (like, the one who locked the keys in the car to begin with) might feel bad enough to do it for me. Naturally as soon as I proposed the solution, one of the valets whooped triumphantly as the car door popped open!

So now the weatherstripping on all 4 windows is shot to hell, since they spent nearly an hour trying to jimmy each of them in turn. I did make sure all the power windows and the power locks still functioned.

I took the gas money out of the valet's tip.