Wednesday, January 19

Wendy's: Where the Magic Word is "No"

"Welcome to Wendy's, would you like to try a combo?"

"Yes, I'd like a number two with no bun and no mayo, with a lemonade to drink." Pause to let her get that. "I would also like a mandarin chi--"

"Wait, I didn't get that. Hold on."

Holding. One, two, three minutes. I could resist. "I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?" Silence.

"Okay, a number two with no mayo and no bun. With what to drink?"

"Lemonade. Also a mandarin chicken salad with a Frosty." [That was for Jared, the nut who wanted a frozen dessert in 20° weather with 3'' of snow on the ground.]

"Chicken salad and what?"

"A Frosty."

"A what?"


"Okay, that'll be [total] at the window, drive around."

"Could you repeat that back to me, please?"

Pause. "No."

At this point we just looked at each other and broke out laughing. Sooooo classic.

"You can't repeat my order?" I asked again. Silence.

WHATEVER. I pulled up. I was greeted with a grunt, paid her, and waited. Drinks handed over. Then she stuck her head out and asked, "Did you want anything on your burger?"

I repeated, "No mayo and no bun."

"Yeah, but do you want the other stuff?" At least she asked.

"No MAYO and no BUN. Everything else is NOT included in 'no mayo,' is it?" (I couldn't help it. Repeated crappy service does this to a person.)

It took awhile, but the food was correct when handed over. I did have to ask for utensils with which to eat my burger. I don't understand-- do they think I'm going to lick it out of the bowl? And for the record, their menu clearly states that low-carb diets can be accomodated by requesting a sandwich without the bun, so this is NOT out of nowhere.

(Also for the record I am not on a low-carb diet, hence my penchant for fries. I breastfeed a baby who is allergic to wheat.)

Next time I am tempted to bring a mini cassette recorder with me so I can upload the evidence. If Crank Yankers made it big . . .