I'm baaaaaack!

It's been awhile. Perhaps you noticed and wondered, Have the planets finally aligned? Has Meg's life been filled with considerate concierges, talented tellers, and rockin' representatives? Or maybe your internal monologue isn't quite so alliterate, but the sentiment was still there?

Alas, not quite. Since I disappeared off the face of the blogosphere* I have been in the midst of divorce proceedings, single-mothering two kids, and gone back to school to so I can become a nursey. My little one, aka the Banzai Bonsai, is also a medical puzzle and keeps me on my toes. So, blogs and peesticks took a backseat. (And, pathetically, it turns out peesticks aren't so much fun when you ain't gettin' any.)

*I am so cool.

I also ditched CVS pharmacy and haven't driven through Wendy's in months, which has considerably improved my customer service situation.

But wait! There is good news! For you. I had a craptastic customer disservice day. Of the "ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!" variety. And hey, things are finally moving forward in such a way I'm ready to get back online. So, here we go.

8 weeks ago, Bonzai Bonsai, formerly known as Peestick Baby (now 3 years old, whoa!), saw her GI doc. He ordered a particular test. Centralized Scheduling told me they were "waiting for insurance authorization" when I called to check on the status of the appointment after a few weeks.

I had to cancel the follow-up GI appt., because the test had not yet been done. I talked to our GI nurse, who again checked on the status for us. She was told it was STILL waiting for insurance authorization (6 weeks after it was ordered.)

Since the insurance company is actually good and NEVER gives us trouble like this, I called them. And it turns out that . . . not only did Children's never even call them in the first place, but it DOESN'T EVEN REQUIRE PRIOR AUTHORIZATION.

So then I'm hold with Children's. Centralized Scheduling told me she didn't deal with authorizations. (1. How does that make sense? and 2. IT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE I DON'T NEED AN AUTHORIZATION.) But she put me on hold and talked to Sandy, who referred me to Kit. They can't find the doctor's order at all. I happen to HAVE A COPY, so I know it exists. Oh, okay--- you know, "sometimes the orders get scanned into ChartMax and they forget to tell us." How wonderfully efficient of them.

Then after all that, the scheduling lady finally said, "Oh, and we can't schedule an upper GI series with small bowel follow-through. We can only schedule a regular upper GI series. You have to talk to Radiology for that."

So, to summarize:

1. My kid has waited 8 weeks for a test to be scheduled because they "needed insurance authorization."

2. That was a lie. They never called my insurance.

3. If they had bothered to call my insurance, they would have learned they didn't need to bother calling my insurance.

4. If they had bothered trying to schedule it instead of outright lying, they would have realized they couldn't find the order.

5. If they had bothered trying to schedule it instead of outright lying, they would have realized their department was not capable of scheduling it in the first place, and sent me to the right department.

Now maybe you'll sympathize with why I have been absent. AHHHHHHH!!!!

Mwah.