Whole Pain

With the allergy-related dietary restrictions around here, I have discovered new and exciting ingredients. That's sarcasm. What I have discovered are hard-to-find, expensive, poorly-textured, half-flavored ingredients. In this case, I needed sorghum flour. Whole Foods did not carry it, but the employee I asked told me they could order it. She disappeared, reappared and informed me that an entire case had been ordered and it would arrive on Tuesday.

Guess what silly little me did on Tuesday? That's right. I naïvely drove right over without calling. Poor, sweet, trusting, stupid little Meg.

Naturally it was not there. Call tomorrow, they told me. I bought a $4 bag of potato chips (corn oil-free) and left.

Wednesday I called. Nope, it hadn't arrived yet. Call tomorrow.

Today ("tomorrow") I tried again. First John answered, then transferred me to grocery, which rang and rang, and then John picked up again. Still waiting, I told him. Hang on, he'll page them again. Holding (obnoxious music in my ear.) "Hello, bakery!" "I'm waiting for grocery," I said. Click, click. Silence. Pause. Dial tone. Drat.

Redial. John answers again. He transfers me to grocery. A different person answers. He takes my name and puts me on hold. Pause. Then yet ANOTHER person answers. I give him my name and spell S-O-R-G-H-U-M for him. Pause. Somebody answers, "Hello, grocery!" "I'm on hold with someone else," I tell him. "Oh sorry, I picked up the wrong line." *smacks forehead*

S-O-R-G-H-U-M man answers again. He has a speech problem which makes it very hard to talk with him. I'm trying very hard to hear over the baby who is screeching in her high chair and the static on the cordless. We manage to communicate that I ordered the flour on Friday. He informs me that my name does not appear in his special order book.

Now I'm ticked. I ordered in person, I showed up on Tuesday, and I called on Wednesday. If the order had never been placed in the first place, somebody should have picked up on that tidbit before now. I describe the woman who took the order. She is sitting right next to him. He begins to chew her out, then thinks to put me on hold. More obnoxious music.

Finally he comes back, has me spell S-O-R-G-H-U-M again, takes my name and number, and tells me the F-L-O-U-R will be here on Saturday.

Fifteen minutes wasted.